it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
