just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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