to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
