You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
