i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
