I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
