It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize