Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
