If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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