Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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