sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
