What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
