if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
