Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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