I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
