he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
