I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
