how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
