school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
