I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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