You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
