Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
