Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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