I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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