Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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