Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
