Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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