I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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