tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
