Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
