Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
