Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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