And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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