Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think people are normalizing furries
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
