dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
