considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
