they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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