He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
