I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
