it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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