haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
