I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
