fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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