dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize