Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
