Screwed.edu
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
