so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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