a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
