so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm too high and old for this...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
