He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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